8 rules of Love - Jay Shetti
Alone, we learn to love ourselves, to understand ourselves, to heal our own pain, and to care for ourselves. - Jay Shetty
How I discovered it
I knew about Jay Shetti from his previous book Think like a Monk. The book was simple and inspiring which made me want to follow up with more content from Jay Shetti. As soon as he mentioned his upcoming book on socials I knew I would love to read it.
Who should read it ?
Regardless if you read it for self love or relationship wise, everyone will benefit from this book. The language is simple, easy to understand and the visuals from the book make it even more interesting.
Summary and impact on me
Love grows by practice, there’s no other way
Often love is seen as an ethernal concept, with cliche gestures and superficial understanding, but Jay Shetty offers a new perspective about love. He provides us with actionable steps to help us to develop the skills to love better than before. He talks about solitude, compatibility, healing and connection. These represent the 4 Ashrams and the philosphy behind the book. Each Ashrma has a set of two rules which are easy to apply and follow on a daily basis.
Brahmacharya- Preparing for love : Solitude. The first Ashram is about getting to love yourself and learning how to do this by spending time in solitude. You spend more time with yourself than anyone else in your life-time. Take the time to appreciate your strenghts and admit the areas where you need work is the phylosohy of the first part of the book. Only when you get to love yourself and see it as a constant improvement journey you get to experience the deeper love.
Grhastha - Practicing love: Compatibility. This Ashram explains how to understand, appreciate and cooperate with a wiser mind and an improved set of values and preferences. Love it’s much deeper than just chemestry and compatibility. Jay’s definition of love is ‘I define the deepest love as when you like someone’s personality, respect their values, and help then toward their goal in a long term, commited relationship.’
Vanaprastha - Protecting love: Healing. Inevitably in life you will find yourself in need for healing. This ashram shows you a guide on how to resolve conflicts, challenges and uncomfort by protecting love.
Sannysa - Perfecting love: The last Ashram is about consistency in our actions and never stop showing for our values and love.
For each of these Jay offers exercises how to discover yourself, shape yourself and stand up for yourself. The booked help you to understand love at a much deeper level and not let yourself influenced by stereotypes and supperficial opinions. He offers plenty of examples with great moral stories and lessons.
The book is well structured and contains plenty of visuals, making it easier to read and retain information. It is greatly written, it transports you in a podcast where Jay is storytelling about love. It is a simple guide towards inner and outer love.
How the book changed me
The book made me reflect at my own relationship with my partner as well as with myself. Although at time it seemed that love was impossible, it was simply because I was failing at one of the four Ashrams.
Conclusion
This book is a great guide towards deeper love and it gives you the opporunity for self reflection and self improvement.
